Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You should frame my arrest warrant.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
