Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You left your phone here
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