ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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