If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it