I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
