Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
