Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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