Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
