i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
