doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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