Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
