Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
