garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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