you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
