She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
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Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
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Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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