he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
