some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
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Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.