Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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