Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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