Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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