Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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