Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
