I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
