She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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