is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
