He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Who did Billy Mays play for?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Randomize
