"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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