i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
