you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
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