I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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