Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
