I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
How does it feel to date your dad?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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