toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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