My nipple is on Facebook.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
if only i could text you this smell
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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