He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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