How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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