You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
