are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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