You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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