i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
