i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
