She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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