I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Randomize
