Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style

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(314): I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style http://tfl.nu/rcp4

Replies (104) Good night (9369) Bad night (812)
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(618): View more from Illinois

Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes

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(618): Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes http://tfl.nu/lxst

Replies (12) Good night (614) Bad night (4040)
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(757): View more from Virginia

It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.

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(757): It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable. http://tfl.nu/luie

Replies (23) Good night (1728) Bad night (4372)
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(618): View more from Illinois

Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.

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(618): Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I. http://tfl.nu/bxpy

Replies (5) Good night (3371) Bad night (1051)
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(302): View more from Delaware

Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.

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(302): Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself. http://tfl.nu/ycey

Replies (8) Good night (3585) Bad night (1110)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay

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(919): Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay http://tfl.nu/w5k9

Replies (18) Good night (2098) Bad night (990)
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(540): View more from Virginia

About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.

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(540): About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience. http://tfl.nu/yfor

Replies (6) Good night (1669) Bad night (1164)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.

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(603): Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final. http://tfl.nu/2gn0

Replies (7) Good night (2719) Bad night (735)
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(310): View more from California

That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI

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(310): That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI http://tfl.nu/k5sn

Replies (14) Good night (744) Bad night (1546)
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(480): View more from Arizona

I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.

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(480): I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it. http://tfl.nu/wwgo

Replies (5) Good night (1291) Bad night (767)
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(619): View more from California

Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...

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(619): Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence... http://tfl.nu/bv13

Replies (7) Good night (509) Bad night (1946)
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(408): View more from California

We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!

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(408): We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?! http://tfl.nu/o08x

Replies (3) Good night (842) Bad night (466)
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(516): View more from New York

Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.

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(516): Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips. http://tfl.nu/dsdr

Replies (4) Good night (755) Bad night (436)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.

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(405): All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head. http://tfl.nu/p2id

Replies (2) Good night (605) Bad night (333)
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(516): View more from New York

No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.

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(516): No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it. http://tfl.nu/ephi

Replies (4) Good night (1032) Bad night (418)

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