Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar

(651): View more from Minnesota

If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either

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(209): View more from California

I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(617): View more from Massachusetts

i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.

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(269): View more from Michigan

I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.

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(863): View more from Florida

In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.

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(515): View more from Iowa

i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars

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(571): View more from Virginia

I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal

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