Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI

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(002): View more from

508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.

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(210): View more from Texas

stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown

(281): View more from Texas

Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps

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(609): View more from New Jersey

imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(516): View more from New York

he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.

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(804): View more from Virginia

when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.

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(530): View more from California

Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.

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