I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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