Texts From Last Night

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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.

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  (505): he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment. http://tfl.nu/v3fi
  Replies (11) Good night (4543) Bad night (938)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??

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  (405): This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine?? http://tfl.nu/98s1
  Replies (6) Good night (2456) Bad night (1134)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.

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  (517): Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that. http://tfl.nu/tw02
  Replies (4) Good night (955) Bad night (2324)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.

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  (267): i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/qc92
  Replies (9) Good night (1838) Bad night (819)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.

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  (810): I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me. http://tfl.nu/noof
  Replies (10) Good night (698) Bad night (1685)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.

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  (386): I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone. http://tfl.nu/mucl
  Replies (13) Good night (1414) Bad night (665)
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  (310): View more from California

  I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.

  (1-310): View more from California

  You're sick. Take pictures if you can.

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  (310): I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had. (1-310): You're sick. Take pictures if you can. http://tfl.nu/uy3u
  Replies (4) Good night (1948) Bad night (660)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass

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  (813): I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass http://tfl.nu/xapu
  Replies (7) Good night (1061) Bad night (502)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.

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  (812): Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down. http://tfl.nu/9hkg
  Replies (7) Good night (1109) Bad night (579)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.

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  (253): If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs. http://tfl.nu/90kb
  Replies (1) Good night (986) Bad night (439)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see

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  (651): Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see http://tfl.nu/afr3
  Replies (6) Good night (1570) Bad night (476)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?

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  (201): Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend? http://tfl.nu/yz0d
  Replies (1) Good night (695) Bad night (428)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...

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  (412): rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea... http://tfl.nu/7e3n
  Replies (1) Good night (415) Bad night (542)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?

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  (905): So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose? http://tfl.nu/yuqf
  Replies (12) Good night (386) Bad night (1354)
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  (818): View more from California

  I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.

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  (818): I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent. http://tfl.nu/y82h
  Replies (6) Good night (645) Bad night (174)

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