Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
So apparently I’m into choking now
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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