What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
