More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He felt like a one man threesome
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
