Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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