i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
