just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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