Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I am naked and annoyed.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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