You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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