i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Life is so much better after having sex.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
is that a dick in a sweater?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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