I hate your face
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize