I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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