It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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