she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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