Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
