Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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