His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Im part way to drunk.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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