you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
