glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
im drinking this country out of the recession.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
